Either the defenders of whatever the hell “traditional marriage” is were right that federally recognized equality for gay and lesbian couples will lead to all kinds of polygamy, polyamory and bestiality, or this is just Rep. Paul Ryan’s social media director being like, “Oh, dude, kiss that fish, we’ll totes get like so many followers.” Either way, eyes closed? Nailed it.
What do girls who “rape easy” and guys who want dome have in common with North Korea, Paul Ryan, Joe Biden? Find out in this week’s Headlines That Suck video round-up. It’s a doozy.
• Not Romney Made a Small Chimp Smoke Cardboard Cinnamon
• Not Bubba & Dubya: Find Out Which One Tooted
• Not Santorum: “I’m Living for Doughnuts and Venison”
• Not Biden: “That’s Toe Up”
• Not Perry: “I’m Proud of My Gun. And I Poo’d in Space.”
• Not Paul: “I’m a Leprechaun Farmer Who’s a Gambler”
• Not Cain: “Before Mighty Facebook, How Would I Have Found Tom Hanks?”
• Not Bachmann: “Tell Her I’ll Break a Tree Root Up in Her Shrimp”
• Not Obama: “Let’s Creep in a Large Office and Make Friction After Lunch”
• Not Perry: “Save a Pretzel for the Gas Jets”
• Not Romney: “I Will Force Spiders and Badgers on the Enemy”
Unknowingly hilarious ad by the conservative Campaign for American Values PAC.
Paul Ryan is known as a policy wonk. His speech on Wednesday night wasn’t policy — it was political fiction. Everyone in politics tells lies. The Democrats tell lies. Barack Obama tells lies. Joe Biden tells lies. But this speech was brazen in its falsehoods, Ryan proud of his revisionist and alternate history, as if he were selling a brand new line of On-Fire Slacks.
Two Republican National Convention–goers were removed from the Tampa Bay Times Forum on Tuesday night after they threw nuts at a black CNN camera operator and said, “This is how we feed animals.”
Two people failing to live up to the decency standards of a civilized society does not a racist party make, but RNC officials will surely be groaning as this story circulates around the web.