Habemus Ear Penetratum: This Jesuit high schooler’s wet willie is definitely the most exciting part of Francis’ papacy, but it could result in a suspension for his on-air antics.
Here’s what the new Pope looks like: hypr.vc/18gqir Francis I, formerly Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio
White smoke billowing from the Sistine Chapel chimney, which means Pope Secondballot XII will be introduced shortly.
Follow along here —> http://hypr.vc/18gqir
Because the media admiration from his North Korean basketball diplomacy trip was too much of a gift, first-class attention whore Dennis Rodman has arrived at The Vatican just in time for the election of a new pope. CHECK IT OUT.
Here are some sexy priests from the Calendario Romano to get you hot under the collar while we wait on Conclave day 2 to convene.
Possibly the coolest Michael Bay-esque Pope photo ever taken (AP)
How to become Pope: The Internet’s foremost explainer, @cgpgrey, gives it his best shot. Watch, learn, laugh.
The New York Post has the obvious winner for Quote of the Day, along with the Headline of the Day: “Pope hope is dope.”
At St. Patrick’s Cathedral yesterday, Dolan was asked about rumors that he would be named the first American pope when the College of Cardinals convenes next month to select Pope Benedict’s successor. “I’d say those are only from people smoking marijuana,” Dolan said.
Pope Benedict XVI shocked the world, becoming the first Pontiff to resign in nearly 600 years. Read all about what happens next here. CBS, by the way, immediately cut to a reaction shot by Taylor Swift, who sang along.
Is it possible that all of a sudden men have gone mad? We don’t believe it. The fact is that women are increasingly provocative, they become arrogant, they believe themselves to be self-sufficient and end up exacerbating the situation. Children are abandoned to their own devices, homes are dirty, meals are cold or fast food, clothes are filthy.
Watch Pope Benedict XVI lose his Twitter virginity here. Want to see his first five tweets? None were @OneDirection or @JustinBieber. Click here.
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